I have so many good pictures from this weekend- I can't wait to post them tomorrow after I charge my camera. In the meantime, thought I would share some insight from my separation anxiety workshop today at Child's Day. It was great other than having to sit in a kid chair the whole time. Yikes. Anyway- here are the deets.
I liked what she had to say from a philosophical standpoint. She spent about 10 minutes upfront talking about shelving the guilt when it comes to daycare. Basically "save the guilt for murders and bank robberies. not for daycare. when you know you're taking them to a great place where they will have friends and be cared for, try to stop with the guilt." And then she went on to talk about how we are constantly models for our children. And that we're not doing our little ones any favors by hovering over them and breeding this feeling that they should be scared, they can't do things on their own, it's not okay to feel fear, you should avoid it. Because that's not life. And our jobs are to prepare them to be happy, healthy, functioning people in the real world. Preparing them for new things, for transitions and challenges, is the best thing we can do to prepare them for life. I believe that whole heartedly.
She shared some specific pointers too.
1) Have a clean goodbye. Let your goodbye mean goodbye. It helps them adjust more quickly if they aren't thinking "well maybe if i keep wailing, she'll come back in."
2)Have a confident goodbye. Again, if you are crying and a mess, and you show fear and anxiety, they'll feel fear and anxiety. Set them up for success- tell them it's going to be fun, it's going to be okay, and believe it.
3) Have a good hello. When you get there and the end of the day- be there. Don't carry your bad day or your hurry or your cell phone calls in. Make it a big deal!
4) Have a plan. If you know your little one is going to cry the first day and maybe the first month- prepare for that- so you can do all the things listed above successfully.
So that's that. Good advice, right? I will do my darndest to remember that I can help shape how he feels about daycare and beyond. :)
he's a lucky little one, for sure, sam. this will be a great social foundation and adventure for him and it sounds like both you and this new school are doing all that can be done to make it so. i am excited about this new step and in support of the above steps!
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