Regrets

I have always prided myself on being a person without (many) regrets. Not because I have been so wild and fearless (or not only, anyway) but moreso because when I make a decision, I try to let it be what it is, and move on. I feel like so many people waste so much time thinking about how things could have been different. And on top of that, the way things "could have been" are always magic and perfect, somehow...which of course is silly.

Anyway, someone asked me this week if I had certain things I looked back on and wondered how different my life would be had I made the other decision. And I realize I do. I don't lose sleep over them, but I do think about them. Going to school out of state. Studying abroad. Going to New York after college.

I wasn't afraid to do these things. A few of them I felt I couldn't do, for one reason or another, and then I guess I also hated the thought of what I would miss out on here, in Texas.

And I don't pretend that life would have been perfect and blissful had I done those things, I am smarter than that. But I will always wonder what it would have been like...even if they are just fleeting thoughts.

So anyway, I don't write about these things to dwell on them. That's a waste. I write about them so moving forward I will push myself harder. I will go after things I really want, I will go places yet, and I will live on the brink. And I will encourage those around me to do the same. And also I will love what I have chosen. That's what living is.

"May you truly LIVE all the days of your life..."