Jump In

Today we went to lake LBJ to see Kirsten, Andy and the gang. Davis napped for about 20 minutes on the way out there- so I was curious to see how he would do. He was amazing. Played and laughed all day, shared his toys with Andy, and really seemed to be listening when I would ask or tell him to do something. It was so fun and I couldn't have been more proud to be his mom. Tara, another friend from college (and my Chi Omega little sis- also maybe the only girl I really jived with in the sorority) came down from Dallas with her little boy, Bennett. It was so fun to see the three boys together. Davis is 19 months, Bennett 13 and Andy, 8 months. It was so fun to see how different they are at these ages.

Anyway- Davis was a champ. He didn't nap, but he played sweetly and happily all day, went on a boat ride with us all, and then stayed awake, happily, the whole way home tonight. He just kept giggling and being silly and you could tell he didn't want the fun day to end. I know how that feels. I hate fun things ending.

I think I've been more nostalgic in the last year than ever- probably because with Davis- I realize how fast time is going. I felt especially nostalgic today. We were out on the boat...it was me, Kirsten, Tara, Davis, Davis and Kirsten's dad, Andy. At one point, Andy anchored the boat, and Bennett and Davis jumped in. Davis shrieked with giggles and didn't even get upset when a wave came and he got a big old splash in the face. They swam for a while...then came back on the boat. I hadn't gotten in yet. Somehow I felt that both Davis and I couldn't be in that choppy water with little D. So they got out- and it was my turn to jump in.

It sounds so dorky- but the that came with jumping in felt so good. I jumped in, swam out to where Kirsten and Tara were, and we talked and swam for a bit. The water was incredibly rough- we had life jackets on- and we got pushed so far from the boat so quickly. When we tried to swim back in- I freaked out for a minute about what was below me. I started to kick my feet so fast and had this moment of fear. Not like knuckle gripping fear- but a quick flash of panic fear. And I shrieked a little, much like Davis did, and I swam. And no one around me heard me- it wasn't a big moment- it was just a feeling. Of exhilaration. And it made me feel like I was a teenager again.

For a moment, I was with my grandparents out on Lake Buchanan, and I was waiting for them to come around and throw me the rope so I could take another run at skiing...and I was kicking my feet like a wild woman because WHO KNOWS what is in these Texas lakes anyway!? Those were some really fun days. Nikki and I used to love to water ski...and my grandparents would take us any time we asked. So Nikki and I would always go, and then when she went to college, my friends and I would go. My grandparents would pick us up from school at 3:35, we'd jump in the car, drive 45 minutes to Lake Buchanan and ski for an hour or two, then when the sun came down, we would drive home.

Beyond those moments in the lake, and cutting across the water, I remember the sun starting to set, I remember the smell of lake water in my hair (and somehow it smelled so good and fresh to me then) and how we would always ride home eating whatever great snacks my grandmother packed- some of our favorites being carrots and fresh homemade french bread.

Those are some good memories. Great memories.
I also realized that sometimes fear can be a good thing. Small or big. Sometimes fear feels like exhilaration...and THAT, I remembered today, is a good feeling.