Jump In

Today we went to lake LBJ to see Kirsten, Andy and the gang. Davis napped for about 20 minutes on the way out there- so I was curious to see how he would do. He was amazing. Played and laughed all day, shared his toys with Andy, and really seemed to be listening when I would ask or tell him to do something. It was so fun and I couldn't have been more proud to be his mom. Tara, another friend from college (and my Chi Omega little sis- also maybe the only girl I really jived with in the sorority) came down from Dallas with her little boy, Bennett. It was so fun to see the three boys together. Davis is 19 months, Bennett 13 and Andy, 8 months. It was so fun to see how different they are at these ages.

Anyway- Davis was a champ. He didn't nap, but he played sweetly and happily all day, went on a boat ride with us all, and then stayed awake, happily, the whole way home tonight. He just kept giggling and being silly and you could tell he didn't want the fun day to end. I know how that feels. I hate fun things ending.

I think I've been more nostalgic in the last year than ever- probably because with Davis- I realize how fast time is going. I felt especially nostalgic today. We were out on the boat...it was me, Kirsten, Tara, Davis, Davis and Kirsten's dad, Andy. At one point, Andy anchored the boat, and Bennett and Davis jumped in. Davis shrieked with giggles and didn't even get upset when a wave came and he got a big old splash in the face. They swam for a while...then came back on the boat. I hadn't gotten in yet. Somehow I felt that both Davis and I couldn't be in that choppy water with little D. So they got out- and it was my turn to jump in.

It sounds so dorky- but the that came with jumping in felt so good. I jumped in, swam out to where Kirsten and Tara were, and we talked and swam for a bit. The water was incredibly rough- we had life jackets on- and we got pushed so far from the boat so quickly. When we tried to swim back in- I freaked out for a minute about what was below me. I started to kick my feet so fast and had this moment of fear. Not like knuckle gripping fear- but a quick flash of panic fear. And I shrieked a little, much like Davis did, and I swam. And no one around me heard me- it wasn't a big moment- it was just a feeling. Of exhilaration. And it made me feel like I was a teenager again.

For a moment, I was with my grandparents out on Lake Buchanan, and I was waiting for them to come around and throw me the rope so I could take another run at skiing...and I was kicking my feet like a wild woman because WHO KNOWS what is in these Texas lakes anyway!? Those were some really fun days. Nikki and I used to love to water ski...and my grandparents would take us any time we asked. So Nikki and I would always go, and then when she went to college, my friends and I would go. My grandparents would pick us up from school at 3:35, we'd jump in the car, drive 45 minutes to Lake Buchanan and ski for an hour or two, then when the sun came down, we would drive home.

Beyond those moments in the lake, and cutting across the water, I remember the sun starting to set, I remember the smell of lake water in my hair (and somehow it smelled so good and fresh to me then) and how we would always ride home eating whatever great snacks my grandmother packed- some of our favorites being carrots and fresh homemade french bread.

Those are some good memories. Great memories.
I also realized that sometimes fear can be a good thing. Small or big. Sometimes fear feels like exhilaration...and THAT, I remembered today, is a good feeling.

A Workout for the Soul

I had a one-on-one workout with Ahmad last night because Stacey was in Vegas boozing while we were supposed to be pumping iron. I usually talk the entire workout and purposefully try to crack Ahmad up just so he isn't too incredibly rigorous. HA.

Yesterday, I didn't have much to say. Mainly because I had too much on my mind. So Ahmad kept asking what was up and I told him. Told him I was struggling in making some decisions or worrying that I'm doing the right thing for my family and for me...and he listened. And then he told me two really smart things. One about himself, and one that I think is just incredibly important to remember.

He said "Sam. You know when it clicked for me- when I realized you couldn't worry about things? When my mom, my grandmother, and my aunt passed. All of the sudden, I had nothing. And no one. And I realized 'things are gonna happen'".

And I thought "No kidding. No kidding." I mean what else do you say or think?

And then we talked some more and he kept saying "But Sam, things are already in motion. What are you worrying about?" So I kept trying to justify why I worry even though he couldn't have made a more clear and relevant point previously...

Then finally he said "You know what it is? You know what it is, Sam? (he gets really excited about things) The truth. That's what it is. You gotta remember the truth. All you can do is your best and make the best choices you can make and keep with the truth. When you get right with the truth- you don't have to worry about anything."

And what he meant was- do your best. have good intentions. make the best decisions you can make. stick with what you know is your truth and anything that falls outside the truth can just lay there on the floor- because it doesn't matter.

How smart is that guy? How lucky am I to be connected with great people, even in funny places, like at the gym?

Today- I will say- was a downer at work. I get really unmotivated by unkind people. I'll just leave it at that. Assume the best in people. And treat them with care. Because it doesn't matter who you are- everyone counts the same.

Little Ham

Little ham would be a good nickname for Davis these days. a) he's quite sturdy and heavy and sometimes I feel like I'm carrying around a big little ham. Yes, big little. b) all of the sudden he is just mr. personality. smiles for the camera. poses and shakes his head, being silly for anyone and everyone that might be watching. This weekend we went to Fredericksburg and met up with my dear friend, Anna, and her family from Norway. She has the most beautiful little girl, Sara, who is four, and they are staying in my grandparent's B&B. We went over there to see Anna and my grandrents and sure enough, within five minutes, Davis found this bucket of water and proceeded to dump it down the front of his body.

Clean clothes? I don't worry about them anymore. I just stripped him down and let him wear his diaper. We let the water run- through the hose and through the wand on the end. He thought it was absolutely hysterical to hold it up to his face and drink from it. He thought it was even funnier when he got too much in his mouth and we would all laugh. He turned around and gave the biggest, cheesiest smile and hearty chuckle...just like "Hahahaha. I know. I'm hysterical." He did it about 10 times until we got tired of laughing, then proceeded to stick his face down in the full bucket of water. When Anna got her camera out, he realized he had to up his game and got right in the bucket. He could barely fit- but he made it work and smiled away for the camera.

Such a funny little man.
Before we left my grandparents- he gave my grandmother about 10 kisses- with the biggest puckered up lips. When he kisses, he wrinkles up his nose and says "MMMMM WAH!"

10:00 pm Monday night: Also I have to add this because it's so cute, when I read it I almost died. Today, in an Ohio grocery store Brayden told Katie "You're the sweetest little lady and I'm going to love you forever!" AH HA! How cute is that?

First Haircut

We finally did it! 18 months and 14 days after Davis was born, we cut his hair. Some people said not to do it (usually on the days when he looked like Matthew McConaughey)...others (me) said it was time- (usually on the days when he looked more like Billy Ray Cyrus). So after many delays- we took him to Great Clips- and he did great. He was a little wary at first- but the stylist helped- she gave him his own comb and once he figured he could get his arms around the cape- he relaxed a bit. It was so funny to stand back and watch- he looked like such a big boy. And I think he is starting to look more and more like his dad lately. So cute.

Today we played and laughed and picked out a few new shirts at Old Navy. Then we went to see Nikki and OOH! he was so excited. He couldn't stop smiling from the second when she walked up to his window until she put him down.

The Little Things

The little things make a BIG difference. Here are a few that made me smile.

1) I've been trying to teach Davis both the word "pool" and "poo-poo". As you can imagine- it's tricky to understand that they are two different words- that clearly have two different meanings. Today, when I went in to wake him up and change his diaper- I opened it and to my surprise it was a #2 instead of the usual #1. Before I could say anything, Davis very matter of factly said "poo-poo". And never have those words made me smile so. It's awesome to see how many new words he is learning- and beyond that- the meanings that he associates with them.

2) I've felt a little overwhelmed with life lately (not when I was at Hyatt Lost Pines, of course) but just when Davis has been traveling or when I work, then have work to bring home, and also have many things to do around the house. Anyway- yesterday I got a text from Carrie (Davis' nanny, not Carrie Ryan) that said "What sort of jelly do you guys like? I see that you're out- we're going to walk up to the store- so I'll grab some." That doesn't sound life changing- and I'm not saying it is- but it was really helpful. And so kind. Have I said how much I am dreading her going back to school? I am. But I'm telling myself, and I do believe, that he is getting more and more ready for the interaction and the learning.

3) I read a lot. Mainly in bed. With a great little light from Red over my head...it's perfect for reading. Until it goes out. And I've been too busy to figure out which light bulb it is and then go find them. But it vexes me every night when I go to read and I can't.

So Bennett is really busy too. And Bennett can pay very close attention to detail in some cases, and not so much in others. I mean, while an amazing guy, he's still a guy. Replacing lights- especially one that he never uses- would normally fall outside of his area of attention. Anyway- I got home one night after working out and saw this pack of tiny little lights sitting on the counter. I almost cried. I thought that was so kind. He jokes that when I tell people that it makes him sound like such a deadbeat husband because really- its clearly not the only or the best thing he's done. But I say that it's easy to get big gifts on big holidays, but it's harder, and thereby sweeter, to be aware of the little things, especially when unmentioned. He spoke my love language. Which happens to be: presents and acts of service. Poor guy.

That's all for now.

A Boy and His Toys

Daddy's Home

Bennett has been in Minneapolis all of this week- and we are so glad he is home. 1) Because we missed him terribly as always and 2) Because mama's going to Hyatt Lost Pines tomorrow with her girlfriends. :)

New things that happened this week (and who I can thank for it):
1) keys!
2) nigh nigh
3) high five (thanks Carrie)
4) cold and realizing what it means- he walks right over to the fridge (daddy)
5) walking in big shoes (Carrie)
6) hats
7) jesus! (Thanks Honey- they read "jesus loves me")
8) loving his new little table
9) bringing his little animals he sleeps with everywhere
10) snuggling in his linus blanket (thanks nikki)

And I'm worried because he is about to hike his little leg right over the side of his crib and jailbreak the place. He is soooo close.

Me

I don't talk about myself much on this blog. Not in detail anyway...in fact my sister told me this year that she thinks I have become more private about myself with each year. It's funny- I don't think about myself that way, but it has made me think and decide to share a few fun things going on with me that are not really specific to Davis. I think that's important for moms- to both think of themselves as separate from their babies and value things they are doing separate from being a mom. Even though that is my favorite gig. So without further adieu- here is a quick list.

1) Public Speaking. I had my first speaking engagement last week at UT. My buddy Oscar and I met with the #1 ranked Texas Advertising Graduate program and shared with them a behind the scenes look at the agency world. We did it on our own time, as advertising people, not necessarily GSD&Mers. It. Was. Awesome. I forgot how excited and passionate students are. We stayed around and talked with them and met some incredibly bright students that are doing amazing things like getting venture capital and starting businesses on the side. Brilliant. We are going to continue working the local circuit, starting with universities, and then hopefully expanding to marketing groups and businesses. I love public speaking and Oscar is really fun- so the partner dynamic adds quite a bit.

2) Writing. This is crazy to even write, but somehow, I find myself helping Luke Sullivan write the 3rd version of his best selling advertising book "Hey Whipple, Squeeze This." Luke works at GSD&M and because of that, it's very common to be in meetings with him and working with him on a daily basis, but the truth is...he is an advertising legend. He's won a million One Show awards (like the Oscars for advertising) and his book is quite literally the textbook used for advertising in universities across the country. This whole thing is crazy and scary and overwhelming and exciting. I'll sort of only believe it when the book comes out in early 2012. Holy shit- my work might be published!

3) There you are, Sam. I'm feeling like me. Not just now, I've been feeling this way for a while, but I think it's worth declaring today. Ha. I went to the lady doctor for my annual and it was so funny to go back to the place where Davis was born. That feels like just yesterday and also lifetimes ago. Anyway as I sat there, I was reflecting on how much things have changed and yet how I can now confidently say that I'm really feeling like me. Sam. Not just mom. And I think that is in huge part to how much Bennett has been helping out lately. It's easy for guys to sort of coast and not realize how much their wife, the mom, takes on...but he has been amazing in realizing that and helping me out. Great dad. Great partner.

4) Reflections. I have had some big life reflections lately. Well, i've always thought and said "You only live once..." and I know it's cliche and I know most people mean it for more grand things like moving to Japan or base jumping off a building or something, but I've really meant it more in "you don't get to do this life again. make sure you're really doing it." in other words- get happy. find joy. dig in. try the things you want to and don't let fear make your decisions for you. I believe this can happen in the most seemingly mundane decisions and the biggest sexiest decisions...for housewives or for huge fancy business people. So that is an old reflection- a realization I've had for a while- but that has been recently reinvigorated. A new one is this: Maybe all that life is, is learning to give the things you've been given. It really could be- I mean it could take a lifetime to really make that real. Sure, it could be as simple as giving money to those who need it, but what I'm focusing more on is giving of your gifts to those around you. Think you're made to be a leader? Lead. Think you're made to build a family. Build a family. And do it with your whole heart, like it's what you were born to do. Because chances are, it is what you were born to do.

I guess that's it. Just four things. But big things. BIG FAT LIFE SHAKING, POT STIRRING THINGS. Let it rip.

More Than I Deserve

This weekend was a special one- I know I say that each weekend is so great- but this one will really stand out in my mind for a long time. Yesterday was mother's day- the first one really for me because last year I was sick and didn't even get to celebrate it. I woke up to an edible arrangement from Bennett, and if you don't know already, I happen to be obsessed with those. I know they're a little tacky- but come on- who doesn't love a tasty bouquet of fruit- some of which is dipped in chocolate. And as we hurried to get ready for church, Bennett said "Sam, why don't you wear the necklace I gave you when Davis was born..." I very abruptly said "Come on Davis, you know he broke the chain on it..." and then he handed me a little package from Eliza Page with a new chain for my very special necklace. I almost cried. So sweet.

We rushed to church because we couldn't be late this week as Davis was being dedicated. There were 4-5 little ones being dedicated, Davis was by far the oldest, the loudest and the squirmiest. Of course we were last, so we stood on the side of the front of the church and most of the congregation could hear Davis saying "Dow? Dow? Dow?" over and over and over as the others were dedicated. When we got to the front, he was really ready to move...so much wrestling. Of course this would happen in front of so many people. Pastor Matt handled it brilliantly, joking about how it looked like Davis needed a little brother to sword fight with, and then said to the congregation "Okay- all you football coaches out there- early recruiting will begin after church. He is going to be a force."

We got through it all and went to Chez Zee for brunch. It was so nice to have our family there, Bennett's uncle Randy, and our friends Courtney and B. My grandfather gave my mom and I corsages, which made me feel very special. Nikki and my grandfather made Davis the coolest mobile of fish and loaves that is so cool- so nice to have an artist and a handyman in your family. B and Courtney gave him a bible with his name on the front and one of B's favorite verses written on the inside cover, my mom gave him this little crystal cup she gave me when I was baptized, and my grandparents gave him a little table and chair set my grandmother got when he was five. It was just so nice. I mean it's nice to feel loved by your friends and family, but it's even better to feel that your friends and family love your family (especially your babies). I don't know if that makes sense unless you are a mom- but I think it's so true. My heart melts when I see my friends love on Davis.

When we got home Davis told me I should go get a pedicure and then when I was finished we went to the pool to hang out for a bit. All in all, I felt so loved yesterday. And I felt so proud. Not just of Davis and my family- but proud to be a mom. Am I the biggest dork or what? I totally did though. I felt like I actually get it now. I get what being a mom is about and I get how important it is to kids, to adults, to families and really...to our world. (Go moms go!) What good stuff has happened without a mom behind the scenes? Not much.

Anyway- yesterday was a great day- and it left me thinking that I have been given so much more than I deserve. And I am super thankful for that.

So here are a few pictures of Davis at his new table. Trying a fork for the first time. He thinks it's so fun to sit at that table- he crawls right up on the chair, sits for a while, eats, then thinks he needs to get down...but one minute later, he climbs right back up for more. He is so big. And so funny. He's gotten really brave with strangers lately- he walks right up to them, waits for them to notice him, and then gives them the biggest, cheesiest smile ever.

P.S. I don't want to neglect to mention that Saturday was our first annual family car wash day- Tony and Nikki came over and we parked all four cars in the driveway and swarmed them with suds. It was awesome- we cleaned four cars in under an hour. Nikki brought little D some of his own sponges and so he helped a little but mainly sucked on the sponges and ate all of Nikki's cashews.

More good pics to come- but here are some mobile shots.

Baby Bear, Baby Bear

Davis did the cutest thing this morning- I was reading to him and when I got to the picture of Baby Bear, Baby Bear, he leaned in and kissed the little bear on the face. So cute. Also he said "yucky" and learned to jump this morning. Big day.

And this is a big weekend- we're having family car wash day tomorrow with Nikki and Tony and then Davis is being dedicated on Sunday. :)

Hello from Ohio

Just got these photos straight from Ohio, via Katie, and wanted to share. I know- two posts in one morning? Crazy. (See Mama's Boy post below if you missed it) Anyway- could these kids get any cuter? Brayden is a full on little boy- he is going to be such a charmer. And seriously- Callie is the most beautiful little girl. Wouldn't you kill for those eyes?

I miss them. Especially Katie. One month and 13 days until our girls weekend- but really- who's counting? ME.

Mama's Boy

Davis is such a mama's boy these days- and I am eating it up. This morning I felt him wakling behind me and Bennett said "Sam- he's trying to hug your legs..." and sure enough I looked down and he was just trying to wrap his little arms around both of my legs- while I walked.

Unfortunately, on the flip side, he seems to be sort of annoyed with his daddy. A lot. The other day he gave Bennett the dirtiest look when I was giving him (Davis, not Bennett) a bath, and we couldn't even believe it. How can an 18 month old feel annoyed- AND show that on his face? So it's bittersweet, because I love how much he loves me these days, but I also want him to share that love with his daddy. I keep telling Bennett it's a phase- which I do believe to be true. Soon enough he will think that everything Bennett does is so cool and will be his little mini-me.

Separately- a little update on my weight loss and workouts. We had measurement day today- I lost three pounds which puts me super close to my goal. AND June 1st is our one year anniversary working out with Ahmad so I really need to reach that goal in the next 3-4 weeks. After that I have a new goal...and then after that Ahmad has a goal for me...but good Lord...if (no, when) I hit my 2nd goal I will be feeling great.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Hope everyone is having a margarita lunch today. I plan on it.

A Mouthful of Dirt

Carrie just sent these my way and Oh. My. Gosh. The smile. The tear. The dirt. Words can't express.

Bennett said: So cute, it hurts. (Okay, maybe they can)

What a Stinker

So the last post was about what a sweetheart Davis is, and this one is about what a stinker he is. I guess that pretty much sums up relationships with toddlers. Anyway- he woke up around 11:00 last night and just couldn't stop sobbing, couldn't sleep. Bennett went in and rocked him, I went in and rocked him, we tried everything, but to no avail. Around midnight, I made the mistake of carrying him into the kitchen with me to see if some Tylenol would help. All of the sudden he was happy as a clam and obsessed with the Tylenol bottle and the way he could spin the cap without taking it off or dropping it. (It's the small things...)

I took him back to his room, put him in his crib and thought "Well, I'll let him play with that bottle until he falls asleep. No big deal." So I went back to bed...tried to fall asleep...listened to the silence and thought "What if he gets that lid off and it spills everywhere? What if he gets that lid off and chews on it and chokes on it?" So I went back to his room and ever so carefully took the bottle from his hands.

OH MY LORD. All sorts of hell broke loose. He was hysterical- he couldn't stop crying- he couldn't breathe- he kept falling over in his crib due to the devastation- he could. not. live. without. the. tylenol. bottle. I held my ground. For about an hour. I went back in occasionally and he couldn't stop wailing and reaching for the changing table where I had put the tylenol. Finally, around 1:00 a.m. I said to myself "This is ridiculous. It's a child proof cap and I'm tired." So I gave him the tylenol bottle and went to sleep. This morning, I expected him to sleep late. I peeked in around 7:30 and he was wide awake just sitting in the corner of his crib spinning the cap on the bottle.

Look out world. This kid has resolve.

Sweet Little Buddy

This weekend was a good one- I had missed little Davis so much because I had been sick and had been trying to stay away from him. Unfortunately he started to run a little fever Saturday afternoon and still is quite warm, but other than that he doesn't seem to be feeling too badly. He's been such a sweet little buddy about it all. We went to Porter's bday party Saturday morning before he started feeling bad, and he was just a little more quiet and timid than usual. Until he took a major face plant in the mud. Poor guy had a mouthful of dirt and just couldn't understand why or how it happened. He got to see James and Scarlett, which was fun. I know he misses seeing the Wyrtzens.

Sunday morning he woke up not feeling very well and he kept walking up to me saying "Hug?" and then he would give me a little snuggle. This is NOT like Davis. I can get him to give me a hug, and even a kiss (an open mouthed one nonetheless), but I usually have to prompt him and sometimes beg. It melted my heart when he walked up and said "Hug?"

Because it was not too hot yesterday (how about that cold front?) we took him to the pool in our neighborhood. We thought it would be good to cool him down a bit and give him something to smile about. He loved it. Brave little guy will walk off any ledge or step- you have to watch him EVERY second.

Here are some mobile pics- I took a bunch with my camera this weekend as well because I just feel like he has gotten SO big in the last few days- so I'll post those too once I've uploaded them. As you can see, he really loves to hang out in Pico's bed. Pico seems a bit frustrated, until Davis hooks him up with some of his snacks. It seems like a fair enough arrangement to me.

A Part of History

Yes, I did get up at 5:00 a.m. for the royal wedding. I wasn't sure I would wake up, but I set my alarm, and when it went off I said "Sam- you can sleep for another hour or so- or you can be a part of history." So I got up, and marked my place in history, watching the nuptials of dear Wills and Kate. Or Duke and Duchess of Cambridge as they are now called. I have been a little obsessed with the whole thing- I mean, she is just like me, and yet, she is now a royal, and everything has changed. And while I imagine her lifestyle would be fun for a year or so, I certainly don't envy what she will have to go through to be with the love of her life. Every move she makes will be watched, critiqued, and openly discussed. Blech. I don't even think I could marry a preacher, let alone a prince. But I am still obsessed with the whole idea of royals and the tradition and everything that comes with it.

She did look amazing, didn't she? Frankly, I'm sort of depressed that it's over. Who doesn't get into a modern day fairy tale?