Airport Inspiration

Maybe it was the saxophonist playing "Time after Time" or the giant tin Michelob Ultra I had at Chili's Too, but I found quite a bit of inspiration in the Minneapolis airport today. I had a lot of thoughts. I'm going to share some of them, though some I knew even immediately were fleeting, while others, I believe, will stick.

• Bennett and I were talking the other day about getting a hobby we can do together. We talked through a bunch and decided that we will first try either couples tennis lessons/tennis club or cooking lessons. I'm sort of thinking tennis will be a better one- if we like it- it is something we can do all year (indoor/outdoor) and it also might be a great way to meet people if we do a club. Plus- plays well into 100 Days of Health. 

• I also realized at the airport, and in talking with my mom this week while she was here, that we really should go on a big trip this spring, Bennett and I. I'm still thinking Africa. And today, in gate G, I decided we should certainly stay on an elephant preserve. Elephants are unreal animals- they have emotions and memories like humans. It's insane.

• I'm not sure what I want to do next. I have a 2nd interview with a gig here in Minne this Thursday and some moments I'm really excited about it. Other moments I'm like "I'm not going back to work full-time...I will do consulting or something and then I will spend the rest of my time doing things that I am just super interested in." Like take some classes, work out, do interesting things with Davis and Holden, volunteer for something I really care about, write...

• I'm intentionally being a bit more selfish here in Minne. In a good way. That sounds off, I'm sure...like I need an intervention. But I feel like it's very positive. I'm spending less time just DOING things and more time thinking about what I WANT to do and what would be good for me. For instance, I think sometimes, even with the most helpful husband (and Bennett really is...) it's easy as a mom (even a working mom) to do WAY more than your fair share...and it's caused stress and resentment and I just decided I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm going to be more direct and I'm going to leave more for him to handle and I'm just going to stress less about it. A few examples- I just informed Bennett that doing the laundry for a family of four is not a one person job. We're going to share that responsibility. Same for managing the budget- not just me anymore- we're both going to manage it. I'm sure you're wondering how he responded- and his face was pretty priceless for a second- but then he was a real gem about it. Said he understood and is game to help.

But it's not just in relation to Bennett. It's with Holden and Davis too. Not that they will be shorted in any way- nothing will really change for them- but a lot will change for me because I'm not going to do the guilt thing. I am going to do the best by them, which also means doing the best by me, so I can be the most joyful, supportive, and encouraging mom I can be. I don't want to be a person that realizes 20 years from now that she took on way more than she needed to, or than was even helpful for anyone. I think I will be a better mom/wife/friend for it.

I feel really happy about all of these inspirations and realizations. I am a work in progress, but every time I think, try, do something new, I feel a little bit proud of myself, like I'm really becoming the person I would like to be- the best version of myself. Hopefully I'm on to something.

I guess we'll see.