Tomorrow, Tomorrow

I love ya, tomorrow...you're only a day away.

I'm so excited about tomorrow- not just because I'm going to see Dwight Yoakum with the Rockwood sisters- but also because schools are closed and Carrie and I are taking Davis, Holden, Porter and Mary Mae to Sweet Berry Farm in Marble Falls.

 
Apparently, we'll be able to pick berries, pet goats, and picnic outside. I'm really excited- I think it will be so fun. Our first big outing with all four kids. I think Davis has a little crush on Mary Mae. he is so sweet to her and yesterday while we were talking about her, Davis said: "Mary Mae is sweet."

In other news:
Holden took three steps yesterday. She was so proud of herself and tried to do it over and over so we would clap for her.

Holden is also loving solid table foods- and you can see it in her belly. She's filling out- it's so cute!

My sister got her arm clamped in a gate and we've been talking about it all day yesterday and all this morning- Davis is very concerned and wants to give her a BIG lightning mcqueen band-aid.

We are doing a 24 hour fast today in remembrance of Easter. Our community group is coming over tonight to break fast over Homeslice pizza. :)

That's all for now. Happy Thursday.

Free Parenting Advice

We had our parent/teacher conference yesterday for Davis...and lets just say while some of it was difficult to hear (what? my little angel snuck into the bathroom and filled up the watering can and proceeded to water all the fake flowers in the classroom? and that doesn't make sense, why?) it was hugely beneficial and we got some really great advice. And I'm going to give it away for free- today only! Now keep in mind, it was specific to Davis, so who knows...but I feel like a lot of it was just really smart.

Positive Discipline
Okay, so we don't spank Davis, and we don't really yell, but we DO use time out. Their point to us was that it's not really effective because kids at age 3, especially Davis, really just sit there getting angry, focusing on how to get out of time out, and even how to get revenge by acting out even more. So instead- they recommended we suggest that if he is having a hard time, he go spend a little time alone until he can get his body under control. And then it's an option...

Also they recommended a book called "Positive Discipline" that further breaks this down and also helps you assess the child's behavior to understand what his real need is, and why he is acting the way he is.

No Ifs About It
They also suggested we remove the word "if" from our vocabulary...no more "if you do that again...X will happen" or "if you DON'T put on your shoes, X will happen." Instead you say "When you're done  throwing things, I will be happy to play with you..." and then you just wait. We tried it last night- and I'm not saying our problems are solved- but his reaction was quite different.

Working Hard
They asked if Davis has a pretty independent set up at home. I was like "Uh...I don't really know. What do you mean?" And then she said, well does he do things like: "Pick his own clothes, dress himself, pour his own drinks, put all his dinner away, throw away trash...does he have his own jobs?" Umm...not. Not really. He's 3. Then they said we should try that because kids like to feel useful, and also, he is doing all those things at school, so maybe he is frustrated at home by his lack of independence or control. Again, tried it last night, and he complied almost every time.

Attention
They said they felt like Davis was looking for attention when he is/was acting out. That was really hard to hear. I sort of defensively said "Okay...umm...do you know that we are the parents that play and do activities on the ground with them every minute when we're home? I just want you to know that we give him tons of attention- I actually don't know how to give him more unless I just quit my job..." And they said "well, sometimes it can be specific one on one time attention they are looking for- do you make an effort to do certain activities one on one with him vs. altogether?" We do occasionally- but we agreed to make a more concerted effort.

My Own Realizations
I also sort of realized through all of this that Davis really thrives when you involve him in an activity or a project. When we practice singing, or when we make something together, or when he does yard work with Bennett, he is really so happy and feels so good about himself. I also realized that Davis is probably a lot like I was when I was little- he really thrives on security, familiarity, etc. And lately- our schedule and our life has been a little (read: lot) crazy. I think he is feeling that.

My first response was "well crap- I guess we need to stop going places at night (even occasionally) for a while, and how can I spend less time at work, and how can Bennett travel less?" And then my friend at work made a really great point while I was talking with her...she said "Sam, just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's bad. He is processing things, working through them...that's going to happen a lot in life and you're helping him out by thinking through how to help him handle things...big and small."

So I felt better about it. I think that's really true. I want to be as hands on as I absolutely can be- ask my friends at work- I'm sure they think I slack there because I try to balance both...but I also want to be career-driven and I also want to do things with my friends...and most of all: I want Davis and Holden both to be well adjusted kids that know how to work through things, know how to be independent, and know, more than anything that their mom and dad LOVE them to pieces.

So there you go- some free advice.
I mean, I certainly have paid for it...but it's my gift to you, dear readers. ;-)

There you are, Davis.

Night and Day. That's what this weekend was compared to the last couple weeks. Starting Thursday night, Davis slept through the night, without any tantrums. No eating, no screaming, no getting in and out of bed. I am so thankful. I'm not sure exactly what made the difference (maybe many things), but he has been great at night, and I think because he is finally getting some good sleep, he has been his sweet self during the day too. Thank you GOD.

We all had such a fun weekend...Nikki picked Davis up on Friday which was so fun for him, and it allowed Bennett, Holden and I to go to Vivo for happy hour. She is so happy and easy- so these outings are really fun and a nice break. The weather was gorgeous, and we sat on the patio and had margaritas and green enchiladas. Holden chowed down on guacamole, chips, chicken, cheese, anything we gave her. I'm not sure she is really Davis' sister. HA.

Holden at Happy Hour.

 

More guacamole, please!

Then Saturday, Davis and I made brownies for Nikki's birthday and we drove around our circle, Davis on my lap, singing to Girl on Fire. He thought it was the best. Saturday afternoon we went to Nikki's for her birthday and played outside, and then Saturday night we went out for dinner at Cipollina.

You know Davis loves you when he agrees to wear a "button shirt" to your birthday party.

 

I cannot get over this picture of Holden! So cute. She smiles at the camera like she is at a photo shoot.

Now Sunday, Sunday was so fun. Davis went to Fred with Honey for the day- which he was SO EXCITED about and Bennett, Holden and I did the following:
- had brunch at Zocalo
- shopped at Anthropologie
- dropped off Davis' jeep for an oil change
- took an amazing nap
- I got a manicure
- shopped for some dress shirts for Bennett
- relaxed

Holden, advising her dad on his purchases. "No WAY dad. Try again."

To say it was glorious would be an understatement. Thank you Honey. Davis can't stop talking about what he did either- they went to Old McDonald's for lunch, stopped by the Red warehouse, which is a 3 year old's dream, played with Woody, played with all of Honey's toys, took a bath, drove the Red van. Good times all around.

Quick story: lately, Davis and Bennett have really been into The Lorax. The movie starts with this awesome song about the city where the movie takes place: Thneedvile. Whenever the song comes on, we all march around, or bounce in our chairs (if you're Holden) and sing. We don't really know the words, but last night, I taught Davis the first line of the song. I asked him to sing it back to me, and when he did- he was so surprised and proud of himself- he beamed and giggled with excitement. I was sort of shocked and impressed with his skills too. So anyway, he wants me to learn the words so we can sing the whole song together. I think I'll put it on a CD. It's a great song- and it's so fun to see how thrilled he is about it. When the movie starts, he'll say "MOMMY! It's coming. The song is coming!!" In case you haven't heard it: enjoy the clip below. Turn your music up!!

Back on the wagon.

Here's the truth, I was doing really well in our weight loss challenge. So was my mom. And so, of course, was Bennett.

And then the whole Minneapolis thing happened. And saying I fell off the wagon is sort of an understatement.

I don't think I am the only one, but that's beside the point. Anyway, Bennett and I have been shopping today and let's just say our recently new smaller sizes are feeling a little snug.

So long story short...I am back on the wagon.

Parenting is Hard

I'm so thankful for Carrie...because she and I are very much in the same stage of life, with kids roughly the same age, and definitely the same genders. And also, she's always about 6-12 months ahead of me since her kids are older...so she has great advice. Anyway, we were talking yesterday and at one point we were both just like "Man...this parenting business is hard."

Here's why I think it's hard- okay in reference to these night tantrums...on one hand, part of me feels like if I have learned one thing over the last 3 1/2 years of being a parent it's that consistency is key. And so part of me feels like consistent rules and feedback are what Davis needs each night. "No you cannot eat at 2:00 a.m. No you cannot get up out of bed. Yes, you will just lay on the floor if that is where you choose to throw your tantrum." It's just like crying it out at bedtime. You are teaching them what is expected and sticking to it is the quickest way to get it done.

But the other part of me is like "Okay, something is clearly bothering him. What is it and what does he need emotionally to feel better?" And I just don't know the answer to that. Maybe it's hunger, but even when he's full after eating at 2:00 a.m. he is still crying and shouting. So I don't know that that is the WHOLE solution. Is he scared? He says he isn't. Is he sick? He is perfectly fine all day. Is he growing or does he have something hurting him physically that he can't articulate? He says "no".

So I've prayed over him, I've laid with him, told him how much we love him, everything emotionally supportive I can think of...and I'm sort of at my wit's end.

Hmmph. This parenting business really is hard.

P.S. sorry I've been a little heavy on the blog lately- just wanting to document my real life as it happens- and this is actually what is happening.

BUT I HAD A BLAST LAST NIGHT WITH MY GAL PALS. AND I LIKE MY NEW HAIR...AND TOMORROW IS NIKKI'S BIRTHDAY AND SATURDAY HONEY IS TAKING DAVIS TO FRED FOR THE DAY!!! SO THERE IS SOME POSITIVITY FOR YOU. :)

My Little Duckling

A few new pictures from Holden's classroom.

Shake Shake Shake

Okay, here's what I'm thinking, after Davis has woken up right around 1:30 a.m. the past 4 nights, saying he is so hungry.

1) He really is hungry. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck.

2) I have realized when my REM sleep happens- it's between 11 and 1:30...because when he wakes me up, I am in such a deep sleep, I think it's like 8:00 a.m.

3) Maybe I need to start feeding him more...but wait, he is such a picky eater, it's hard to get him to eat anything, so...wait for it...maybe I need to start making him "chocolate" shakes that are actually protein shakes that will fill his belly up.

I mean look at these kids I found on the interwebs. They look happy and healthy and it's probably because they are sleeping through the night, not waking up screaming their brains out at 1:30 every morning. It's clearly the shakes.

Thoughts? Advice? Recipes?

I'm about to get all pinterest-y and mommy forum-ish up in here trying to find a solution. I'd rather not- so if you have advice- please share. Happy Thursday.

Also, and separately, and as mentioned...I just finished reading Lean In, and even more recently, I wrote a blog post about it on GSD&M's blog. If you would like to read it, click HERE. 

Romeo

When Davis isn't acting like a total pain in my side, he is really quite the charmer. In fact, sometimes I almost feel a little awkward. For example, he's really going to know how to kiss a woman. Last night, as I was giving him a kiss and a hug before he went to bed, he paused, looked deep into my eyes and gently, but firmly, put his hands on each side of my face, and said: "I lub you. I lub you always, mommy." And then he kissed me ever so gently on the lips.

I couldn't decide if I should laugh, or swoon, or say: "Well Davis- I love you too- but I feel slightly uncomfortable about all of this, er, passion." Hehehe.

Hope you're having a great week, and a solid Wednesday. We didn't have community group tonight- a few people are sick, a few are out of town- so Bennett and I went to dinner instead. We ate at this cute little Italian place, Vespaio. We sat at the bar, and laughed the whole way through dinner. I love nights like that.

Tomorrow after work, I'm getting my hair done, and then meeting some girls out. Doing lots of fun stuff these days. Live like you're leaving, I guess! 

Packing it In

Guess who's going to see Dwight Yoakum at Stubbs with Kirsten and Karen next Friday? ME!

What a stallion. I mean who can pull off a fringed leather jacket and thin feathered hair the way Dwight can? Nobody. In the meantime, I'm listening to his tunes on Pandora all week so I can sing along like the biggest fan. This will be Kirsten's first real night out since she had Frances...and really, Kirsten and I's first night out together since she moved back (as I was pregnant with Holden when they moved back) so it's going to be wild. No promises on good behavior, nanny. ;-)

Bennett just called me at work and informed me that while he will keep working out- he's not going to be so strict on his diet. He wants to have a good time before we go. Me too. We're trying to pack in as many fun things as we can...beginning with Dwight. Well actually beginning with Nikki's birthday dinner this weekend at Hillside Farmacy. Between Nanny and Nikki- Davis and I have been practicing singing "Happy Birthday" all month.

Au revoir for now.

Happy Birthday Nanny!

Today is my grandmother's birthday!
Let me count just a few of the ways she is great:

1) she has always given the best hugs- even though for a while when I was little I would tell her she hugged too hard.

2) she used to play Edelweiss on the piano and sing with me

3) she would always let us hook up her little toaster oven and "cook" Grands biscuits

4) she is a smart woman- loves to read and travel and learn new things

5) she tells it like it is

6) she is determined

Happy birthday nanny! We love you.
Oh, and here is a cute picture of Holden, just for fun. My mom took it last week.

Lets Be Real Honest...

It's the 3s that are terrible. Terr.i.ble.

I have started dreading nighttime because I know it's going to be such a battle...and that he is then going to proceed to wake me up several times throughout the night. It's exhausting. Literally exhausting, both physically and emotionally.

I think back on the old days, when he was 2, and I was just a smug parent who thought she was sailing through the terrible 2's without incident. My child was an exception. I was such a good mom, I wouldn't even have to deal with such an issue. Well. I will be the first to tell you: I had no idea what was coming. I didn't know shit.

I constantly have to remind myself of a few things:

1) it's silly to let a 3 year old alter your mood
2) it's a phase, it too shall pass
3) his determination, will and wit will be a big part of what makes him an awesome human being
4) one day, he will have kids

So that's all I've got. For now.

Lean In

I'm reading the highly controversial book "Lean In" by Facebook's female COO, Sheryl Sandberg. It is so good and I am learning so much. But man, I'm getting so amped up about the lack of female leaders in the business world that poor Bennett can hardly say anything without me saying something in return like "Why should I have to scoot over where there is less light? I'm reading and I was here first and I am JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOU ARE!!!!" It's really creating an interesting dynamic in our house. Hahahaha.

It's true though- there is a real issue and I can totally see why. Anyway- good book- definitely worth a read for man or woman.

That's all I have to say for now. Here are some pictures from the weekend. Davis came home from school sick on Friday- had a fever almost all weekend- so that was frustrating...but we had a pretty good time anyway.

 So last night was a real switcheroo. Davis actually went to bed without too much of a fight- THANK YOU GOD! Yet little Miss Holden refused to go to bed. She never cries so I tried laying her down a few times and because she kept crying, I eventually got her up and let her hang out till 8:30. She and Bennett watched The Lorax. Holden usually goes to sleep at 6:30, so this was unusual. Today she was so happy to go to school. It is so nice to see her smile and get right in the mix.

We had a girls night at the mall last week- my mom, Holden and I. We shopped around and ate at Nordstrom Cafe. I think it was the day I announced the big news and I needed to charge me some happy. :)

This is the little outfit I got for Holden while Katie and I were in San Antonio.

Adventures at Target. Spring is in the air!

Holden's new favorite thing is rolling around on our bed. Yes, she is wearing a little tiered gray and white polka dot skirt. SO CUTE.

This isn't the best picture- for many reasons...but hello, how old is this guy? He got his hair cut Saturday and looks like a man.

And Some Pictures...

Okay I just wrote a pretty important post before this one- so make sure you read that...but I also downloaded some of these pictures from the last weekend. Enjoy!

Snapshot from the office where I was working in New York. I showed Davis, and he was pretty excited to see all those taxis Honey has told him about.

Quick pic driving by what is normally a beautiful lake and park while in Minneapolis.

Little tiny at the doctor's office last week. Between the four of us, we pretty much go in weekly.

Holden in overalls I wore when I was little. So sweet. 

My little crazy man, Davis.

My view almost every morning around 6:00 a.m. Naked Davis, watching monster trucks on my cah-pooter.

News

Been holding this in for a while, and it's the reason I've been a little (read: a lot) stressed, but...Bennett was recently offered the Director of Real Estate position for Great Clips, North America. A huge and exciting deal- I'm so proud of him- but it's been incredibly stressful because taking the position would require us moving from Austin to Minneapolis.

This has been about a 6 week process and we just decided yesterday that we are going to give it a shot. We are thinking of this as a short-term adventure- nothing more than that. But even so, it's really hard for me to think of leaving everything here. So, as my dearest friends, I ask that you help encourage me. That you tell me (even if it's a lie) how great it will be, and that you remind me that God has plans for me beyond what I can even comprehend. Because honestly, I'm having a really hard time with this. Not just leaving, but trusting that when we want to come back, the opportunities will line up for us in a way that makes it possible to come back.

So please pray for me.

And please, if you are at all connected to Austin or GSD&M, don't mention this. I have talked to my boss and mentor, but don't plan on saying anything to the broader group for a while...the main reasons being that 1) we won't be leaving until mid to late June and 2) even then, I hope to work remotely for a while to finish out some projects, and I know the second we tell people I'm leaving- I'll become a lame duck. So you won't see any facebook posts or anything like that...and this is probably all I'll say about it on the blog- but email me for deets!

And thanks in advance for your prayers. I really am such a wimp over stuff like this. I try to control so much and this is putting me entirely out of my comfort zone- which feels horrible- and is probably exactly why it's happening. Ha.

So I'm trying to really focus on this bible verse:

"No eye has seen, nor ear has heard, the plans that God has prepared for those who love him."

But I'll be honest- I still feel a bit sick to my stomach about it all. So please pray for me about that. And remind my mom it's short term. And remember I'll come back a ton- and that I expect a lot of visitors.

Poor Little D

D had such a hard time last night, just staying with our sitter while I went to work out for an hour. He cried and cried and begged me to stay. And he had a rough morning too. I think he misses his dad and is also ready for us both to be home consistently for a while. We've been traveling a lot. Luckily- we have a break for a bit. He cried all morning- over everything. I had a hard time having patience. At one point, while sobbing in the car, he said: Can you turn on a song that will make me feel happy?

I think it's interesting how in tune with music he can be...the other day I was listening to a Regina Spektor song on the way home and it was kind of slow and out of the blue he said "She is sad." And then he said "This makes me a little sad too." Hmm...who does he remind me of? ME. Music, movies, books, all these things affect me pretty deeply if I'm not careful.

Holden, on the other hand, is just a happy little camper. She no longer cries at drop-off and is just thrilled to be there. Yesterday we went over to Carrie's to play and just had the most amazing day talking and playing outside. I cannot get over how beautiful Austin is in March. Maybe it's because I just got back from snowy, cold Minnesota. Maybe it's because March is the best month in Austin. Maybe both.

Lately, I'm thinking about lots of things...and I feel like God is really speaking to me. To trust him. To be bold. To find joy. It's a good thing. And it's what is keeping me going in a stressful time.

Aside from that- I am thinking of some fun, frivolous things too, like planning my sister's bachelorette party. And our Moore girls trip to NYC. Ooh, how have those things snuck up on me? I have been scouring the webs for the perfect bridesmaid dress- I can't wait till I find it.

I have some pictures to share- just some funny snapshots but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to save them on my new work computer. It's probably something easy- but for right now- you'll have to do with text. :)

Au revoir, for now.

Good Friends

Cry with you, pray for you, encourage you, and tell you what you need to hear vs. just what you want to hear. I am so blessed and equally thankful for the dear friends I have in my life. You know who you are. Thank you!

Back from Minnesota

We're back from a long weekend in Minneapolis...Bennett and I traveled up there for an event for his job. So two things I quickly learned while flying over the city prior to landing...1) It's big. Like a lot bigger than I thought. And 2) They are not kidding about being the land of 10,000 lakes. Flying over, you would see all the lights and neighborhoods of the city and then a giant black patch...and then more lights, and then another patch. The patches were lakes. And man those people are CRAZY about their lakes. You ask them anything about Minnesota and their eyes light up talking about summer and spending time on the lakes.

Bennett works with some really amazing people. It was fun to spend time with them...and boy they think the world of him (Bennett)...so that's really why I like them, because we have that in common. :)

So while I was in San Diego, I was so homesick for Davis and Holden. I really wasn't this time. Is that bad to say? Not that I didn't miss them and stare at their pictures on my phone a couple times each day, but I wasn't sad/sick over it. I enjoyed sleeping late, I enjoyed talking with Bennett uninterrupted, and I enjoyed watching Zero Dark Thirty while ordering room service and making myself a rum and diet Coke in a martini glass. But when I got home tonight- my heart lit up seeing their smiling faces and excited reactions. They were so happy and it was so nice outside so we played in the front yard and ran around the neighborhood...

It's nice to have a great family. And I am forever thankful for Nikki and Honey who helped out again while we were gone. Here are to a few weekends with nothing to do! Is it too early to start a garden? Will it freeze again? I want to go help my grandmother plant her flowers on of these weekends too. I love spring.

Happy Heart

The past few days have been really good for me. We went to try on Nikki's wedding dress- so much fun! We played, I worked out, we went out to dinner and drinks with friends, and then we spent Sunday at my grandparents house. See for yourself!

Playing on Saturday...

Davis really wanted Holden to get in that tent with him. He loves her and is so sweet to her. I walked in after my workout and he was putting something in her mouth. I said "Davis! What are you doing?" "I'm just sharing a cookie with Holden!" He gives her little snacks, she is so happy and says thank you, eats it up, and then the second she starts to fuss, Davis puts another little cracker in her mouth. She is like a little bird...and he is so sweet to share and keep her happy.

Breakfast at Austin Java.

Dennis. The. Menace.



Davis was snuggling with Bennett for so long- very unusual and very sweet.

 



Holden loved all the people and the action at my grandparents' house. We were over there hanging out and hanging some new lights we gave my grandma for Christmas. If you want to see some of these pics a bit bigger- just click on the picture itself. :)

 

 

Hope you had a great weekend! I'm about to hit the sack in New York! Work tomorrow, home tomorrow night at midnight, work Wednesday, then a trip to Minneapolis on Thursday.