Room for Joy and Sadness

On my way to Maryland for work, I picked up this week's People magazine, and on the cover was a story about 10 kids who were born after their dads died in 9/11. I shouldn't have read it on a plane, but I did, and I teared up reading about the mothers and how they have or have not been able to move on. I also found the kids' perspective, incredible.

And I found it interesting how much sadness they carry, even though they never met their fathers and they never knew a life other than the one they have. And then I found it ironic that I found that so interesting because, well, I am a lot like them. And I guess that is the first time I've encountered people that know what that feels like and can understand the heavy weight of something that technically never was there for them. It's a unique situation. And one of the things I will remember from the article is that one of the moms said "I had to realize that there is room for both joy and sadness..."

And then last night, while I was waiting for my flight, I kept watching this couple next to me, who were frankly, annoyingly intense and flustered and running around like a bunch of crazy people. So, of course I kept watching...I am nothing if not a people watcher. As I observed, I realized that they had a brand new infant car seat...but no baby. As I eavesdropped, I overheard them making call after call to people saying "Okay, we are at the airport!!!" And then I heard one conversation, in particular, that sounded like this: "Yep, we are going to go to the hospital tonight and then they said we get to take the baby home with us tomorrow..."

And it clicked. They were flying to Austin Texas to pick up a baby they had been waiting to adopt. And I immediately understood the frenzy. And the excitement. And I was so excited for them, I got chills. I cannot imagine what that would be like.

And then I thought of the momma. And my heart felt heavy. I cannot imagine, under any circumstances, how one can give their child away. Not to say I don't think it's the best thing in some cases, I know that adoption can be a great thing, but I still can't imagine the sadness you carry as the birth mother. And then I remembered that line from the People article and I thought to myself "This is a perfect example of a situation that has room for both joy and sadness."

Anyway. There is no point to this post other than that I want to remember these things. One other thing I want to remember from this week is how beautiful the green grass was in Maryland. I forgot grass could be so green.