Monterey and Carmel

On the way to Monterey.

Green as far as the eye could see...

Bennett on his 32nd birthday.

Pebble Beach- so glad Bennett made us drive out there.

Doesn't he look older and wiser?

It was GORGEOUS.

Not the best pic of Nikki and I- but it was WINDY.

Little man and the sea.

This is just a peek at beautiful Carmel. Spanish and mossy.

Bigger than my hand hydrangeas! Thought of you, nanny.

Jellyfish at the Monterey Aquarium. AMAZING.

Davis at a restaurant that shall forever go unnamed.

Rationalizing with a Two Year Old

Davis has NOT been sleeping well since we got home. He gets up several times, he screams bloody murder (while nothing seems to be wrong), and he really is wide awake each time he wakes up. Surely this cannot be due to the two hour time change, right? Anyway- last night- I got up with him at 3:00 and he just wanted to rock and then every time I would put him back in his crib he would scramble up to his feet so fast and say "Hog? Hog?" which is how he says hug.

I had tried everything to get him to go back to sleep, so I decided just to tell him how it was. He kept asking for Daddy and Honey and finally I just hugged him, looked at him and said "Davis. Daddy went nigh nigh. Honey is going nigh nigh. Pico went nigh nigh and mommy needs to go nigh nigh. It's TIME for Davis to lie down and go NIGH NIGH." He cocked his head to the side, looked at me, and then to my huge surprise he laid down, tilted his head a little and said "nigh nigh?" YES DAVIS. NIGH NIGH. I don't want to see you again until the morning. :)

Also, we had our 22 week dr. appt. monday and everything looked great. Strong heartbeat, right on track with size and everything, and we are good to go. Our next appointment will be the big sonogram where they look at every little part. So thankful for good news- or no news, really.
That's all for now.

What I Love Wednesday

1) My new blog background and fall, in general.
2) My closest gal pals in Austin, Carrie and Courtney.
3) That Davis will say "han!" to hold my hand in the car.
4) Bennett surprising me with flowers this week.
5) Working out with Ahmad.
6) Looking at little girl clothes!
7) Planning a little girl room.
8) My new bible study, A Woman After God's Heart.
9) Davis liking his school and carrying his lunchbox.
10) Davis occasionally caressing my hair, telling me I'm nice.
11) Sweet Louise Photography's Holiday Mini Sessions.

Santa Barbara

Oh how I love Santa Barbara.

The view from Brophy Bros.

The cutest little blue and white boat.

Cute pic of mom and Nikki. Love Nikki's hair color.

Bennett and I. Leaning in. Not sure why.

Urchins.

Boats full of urchins.

Davis, sitting on a tractor.

Davis and I, on the pier.

Nikki and I. Umm, could I be any more round and pale?

Bennett and Davis on the beach in SB.

Ahh, Santa Barbara.

Venice Beach

This was certainly one of my favorite memories from our trip- chasing the birds at Venice Beach. Such a sweet time for the three of us- and such joy for the little man.

So tired after catching a 6:00 am flight to LA.

Venice Beach.

He couldn't eat enough that morning. This is rare, so we celebrate it.

Being silly.

The Bennett 3 in Venice Beach.

Birds as far as the eye could see.

Happy.

So happy.

Waving at mama across the bodybuilding gym.

Geez I love that double chin smile.

I Call Bullshit, Beyonce.

First things first- we're back and so thrilled to be home. I will go into details about the trip once I download our photos, but in the meantime, I have a bone to pick.

I was catching up on people.com today and I read how Beyonce feels so empowered being pregnant. I've heard this before- mainly from famous people who you can't take seriously anyway- but this time I really thought: "Seriously? You feel empowered? That is the word you are using to describe being pregnant? Not round? Slow? Frumpy? Emotional? Insecure? Just to name a few...

So I'm curious- does any real woman truly feel that "empowered" is the word you would use to describe your pregnancy? I mean, if so, power to you. No judgement, I'm excited for you. But I find it so hard to believe- just because of how I feel. I forgot how different I feel when pregnant- it's all coming back to me and I don't really like it. I don't mean to be a complainer- I'm thrilled to be pregnant and having a baby and I realize how lucky I am. But I feel all these things I don't normally feel (slow, frumpy, insecure, etc) and I don't really like it...and I don't know how to shake it.

I mean, Bennett is hurting my feelings left and right and I realize that it's more likely that I've changed significantly in the last month, than he has. Not to say that he couldn't be more sensitive- I mean they all could be- right? But for the most part- I think I read more into things than normal and my feelings are always hurt, leaving me feeling emotional and insecure.

Eww, I'm grossing myself out even writing this blog. Blech. But it's true. I consider myself a strong, secure woman, and while I'm thankful to be pregnant, I am calling Beyonce's bluff about pregnancy making people feel empowered. And I need to know- who's with me?

Back

As in about to board a plane to go back home, and as in I have hurt my back so badly, I can't bend over. Seriously. God give us strength on this flight.

Davis drove 7 hours straight yesterday, with no problems, and yet I am dreading this three hour flight.

San Francisco Treats

Like I said, I have done nothing but find shoe after shoe today in San Francisco. I purchased three pairs. Yep, three. One I actually wore right out of the store until it broke. So I am down to two. The first is this lovely pair of boots I actually tried on probably 10 times last year. I didn't buy them because I didn't know if I loved them for the long-term. I guess I do (love them for the long haul) because I ended up buying them a year later.

The next pair is my first of this brand, Merrell. I realize these are for really outdoorsy, hiking people, and while that I am not, I do always pretend to be uber-sporty. I think these will really come in handy this fall and winter, and they are comfortable, which means more to me right now than most of the time.

The third thing is a little blanket for baby Bennett that I actually bought at Giggle in Santa Monica. The color is off a bit in this pic- it's a really cute orange and pink. Looks a little red here.

Also got Davis a little sweatshirt in Carmel- but can't find a picture. Not sure how we're going to get everything back to Texas without paying for going over the weight limit. Oy vey.

Tomorrow we're going to an all rubber park- poor Davis deserves something just for him after all the driving and shopping and walking/strolling.

The Castro

Is the area we're staying in, in San Fran. I booked a two bed apartment through Home Away and it is perfect. Great design (but what else can you expect staying in the gay district), good restaurants, and a quick ride to all the good spots.

Today we walked from our flat to the golden gate bridge and oh my Lord my legs are tired. Probably 3-4 miles, all hills, of course. Davis fed the ducks at the Presidio and then we had breakfast at the Squat and Gobble on Chestnut. Now we're shopping and I cant stop finding good footwear. I guess that's what happens when you aren't looking for clothes.

Last night my mom, Nikki and I went for Thai food- Tony recommended this cute place called Osha. It was amazing. Tuesday evening and Wednesday were pretty rough with Davis being sick, and is being in the car a lot, but I think we're back on the upswing. Driving the coast has been gorgeous and its been fun to see so many places, just wish we had a little more time in each spot.

Wouldn't you know that after we walked our tails off getting to golden gate bridge, the fog perfectly covered it? Maybe tmw a.m.

Poor little sicky

Has a fever and probably an earache. Have to find a doctor in the a.m. before heading to San Francisco. :(

Highway 1

So a couple quick catch up notes...
Sunday morning in Venice Beach was so perfect. We went to the Omelette Parlor on Main in Santa Monica, then headed over to the muscle beach area. Davis went crazy running and chasing the birds and it was so so beautiful. We had such a great morning, the three of us.

We picked Nikki and Honey up early early Monday morning and began the trip up the coast, first stopping in Santa Barbara. I love Santa Barbara. If I knew how to insert one of those heart emoticons here- I would. We found a hotel- the ones I had spent hours researching were booked (boo) but actually had a good time running from hotel to hotel, then literally meeting on a street corner with our arms crossed, comparing our finds. We stayed at Mason Beach Inn and it was great for the night.

We had a seafood feast on the wharf at Brophy Bros and then Nikki and I got to do a little State street shopping before everything closed.

This morning, we were back on the road for the longest stretch (not counting the direct drive back to LA Friday) up the coast to Monterey and Carmel. Davis was a champ, slept and watched Barney and was really happy. The rest of us played Travel Topics- which was a great gift from my mom to Bennett (today is his birthday!). Checked in at the Hyatt Regency Monterey (beautiful), grabbed lunch, then drove over to Carmel by the Sea. On the way, we stopped and saw Pebble Beach and took a bunch of amazing photos. It doesn't feel like real life here- where do these people vacation? It's gorgeous. We all sort of got a little sick of the car, but Carmel was worth it. It's only 5 mins from Monterey, but all in all, it was a big, long, driving day.

Okay- PS- I want to come back to Carmel sans toddler. Which reminds me- while he is so adorable and has been a trooper on this trip, he's still a toddler...and I have to say, I think there is another word for traveling wtih a two year old. It's not "vacation". :) Maybe I'm just pregnant and tired.

Anyway- just a quick update and now I'm looking for a dinner spot to take Bennett for his 32nd bday. Ooh, love him so!

We're here!

Been up since 4 am, no nap, and though there were a few really low points on the plane, we are happy.  All of the sudden a wave of nausea hit me on the plane. I went white, body became soaked with sweat, and I almost passed out. This, of course, happened right when Davis hit the wall. Figuratively, sure, but he was so sick of being on that plane, his meltdown sounded like he hit a literal wall.

We got here at 7 am LA time, so we were super lucky that the hotel let us check in early. 9 am. So nice, right? Shutters is amazing and when we walked in, me looking pale, and Davis covered in sprite and every snack I gave him on the way, we for sure looked like the grubbiest people here. Real fancy.

We took a break for a while, then walked out to the beach, went to see the car show at the pier, then walked over to the Santa Monica Farmers market. The weather is amazing here. Davis loved the beach, and right now Bennett and I are watching UT play while we pretend Davis is sleeping instead of banging the bathroom door open and shut against his pack n play. Oh, traveling with toddlers.

More to come.

20 Weeks

It's hard to believe that I am 20 weeks pregnant. HALFWAY through my pregnancy. It's gone so fast, it's just hard to believe that in about four months we will have a little girl. When I say it's hard to believe, I really mean that I am having a hard time believing it. A little girl? In four months? A family of four? In four months? AHH!

It's funny how last time, four months seemed like a lifetime. This time, four months seems more like a minute. So much to do and yet- I feel so much more prepared than I did the first time. Thank God. I really had no clue what I was getting into. It's both comical and scary.

So, although it's hard to realize mentally, physically I am seeing the changes happen. I am definitely showing at this point and I'm also slowing down a bit. I'm trying not to- and I will continue to push forward- but I've noticed it's just a little bit harder to get up in the morning, and it's a little bit harder to get psyched up for my workouts. I have to keep doing both, but my body is not really working with me. I've gained 7 pounds so far. In an ideal world, I would just gain 10-15 more. That is what I am shooting for. We'll see- second half is the hardest.

We have some names we like. And in sharing them, I'm not looking for feedback about the kid you knew in high school by that name that was so stupid or your girlfriend that just named her kid the same thing. I'm boldly asking you to either hold your comments- or share positive ones. :) As you can see, I'm getting even more frank the further I get into this pregnancy. Ha.

We like Annie, Holden and Tommy so far. We liked Holden and Tommy last time too, but Annie is a new entry. We are pretty sure the middle name will be Eloise. (Nanny- isn't that fun? All those Eloise books stuck with me). For a while I was leaning more towards Annie; these days I'm leaning more towards Tommy or Holden. I actually think it will be a game time decision, which as my girlfriends and I were joking last night, doesn't leave much time for monogramming everything. Oh well- I'm not much of a monogrammer.

Anyway- today is my last day of work before vacation- so I better get to it. Happy Thursday.

O-HI-O

Davis and I are going to go see Katie, Brayden, Callie and Ray in Hudson OHIO next month. I cannot wait. Today she sent me a potential itinerary and it made me so excited- pumpkin patches, wineries and apple picking- OH MY! I don't know who will enjoy it more between Davis and I. The cool fall weather, being with Katie, seeing the kids and Ray. It's going to be great. I wish Bennett could go- but we are going on vacation next week and he doesn't have the vacation days. That's a bummer, but I'm still so excited to go!

Three funny things to note:
1) I always caps lock OHIO. I don't know why. I just do.

2) I asked Bennett to get a very specific pack of diapers to leave at Davis' school yesterday. I emailed the exact name and even gave a back up option if for some crazy reason they were out of those.

Today I went in to make sure they had the diapers- and Bennett brought in Pull-Ups. Pull-ups are for leaks and accidents- not almost two year olds who are still full on doing their duty in their diapers. TOTAL DAD MOVE. I have to bust his chops a little on that one.

3) Last night Bennett and Davis went in to brush Davis' teeth. Davis loves doing it himself- which basically consists of him getting his brush wet and sucking all the "elmo" toothpaste off the brush. He HATES it when it's mine or Bennett's turn. HATES it. Screams like we are chopping off all of his toes one by one.

So last night after the wrestling match, Bennett gave him his binky as a reward, and because it was time for bed. Davis snatched it so quickly, looked at Bennett, turned around, walked out of the bathroom and shut Bennett in the bathroom behind him. HA. Because I was in the hall, watching, I could see that he then took off down the hall with a quick walk, looking behind him to make sure his toothbrushing nemesis was still locked in. Funny kid.

Back to the point- here are some photos of OHIO (and OHIO produce) in the fall. No, that's not Katie's house, though hers is similarly gorgeous. I pulled these from Google images. I hope we get to play in a pile of leaves.

Binky-Awbinky

Davis is talking so much more lately- real words strung together and also a lot more gibberish that sounds like a real conversation. When it's gibberish- he will insert words he knows here and there and I've noticed that he says this a lot "blah blah blah blah Binky-awbinky...blah blah blah." There is no pause, just the random binky-awbinky inserted here and there.

Also last night while talking I noticed something else. He was just chatting away, all gibberish, but would occasionally say "Hudson" which is the name of a little boy in his class. I will talk to him about all the kids in his class occasionally and he repeats their names and recognizes what we're talking about- but this was the first time he has singled out and talked about one of the kids on his own. I wondered to myself if that is his first little friend at school.

Today when I dropped him off, we walked on to the playground and immediately heard "Davis!" and it was Hudson, who walked right over to him, hugged him and was clearly so excited to see him. It was so cute. They then jumped in this little canoe where Logan (the teacher) was singing "Row Row Row Your Boat". Davis was so happy.

He absolutely loves the playground- so I try to get him there as close to 8:00 as possible since they just adjusted their schedule and that is the first of two opportunities in the day to play out there. Drops offs prove to be much easier out there and I can see why- it's a great playground. The ground is partially cushy, soft green astro turf, so if you crawl or fall it doesn't hurt. There is a giant sandbox, a canoe, a playhouse, a huge court for running and playing with cars and push mowers.

He likes it so much that today- I didn't even have to hand him off. I told him I was leaving, he ran to hug me tight tight tight, and then I pointed him back to Hudson and Logan and he started running across the court to get a little mower to push around. Yahoo!

Bennett got home last night and I know Davis was so excited to see him. He got home so late and so when he didn't come right to bed, my feelings were hurt, and I was like "What is he doing?" I got up, walked down the hall and he was quietly leaning over Davis' bed, rubbing his back. Sweethearts. Both of them.

Oh, one other bit of Child's Day news. Yesterday I walked in just moments after Davis busted his head. The director was walking into the room, and I didn't see Davis, and I immediately knew something was up. They have this little wooden puzzle with lots of metal locks on it that you can lock and unlock. He was playing with it, it slipped off the table, and as he tried to stop it he pushed on the bottom and then the top of it wacked him in the head. Big bruise and even blood. Poor guy. I called him "Davis Dunbar Graves Bruiser Bennett" yesterday.

That's all for now.

Look Mom, No Tears!

No tears today at drop-off! Yahoo! Here are some pics from this weekend...and a video of Bennett making Davis giggle. Make sure you have the sound on. Is there a better sound than kid giggles? I doubt it.

Lounging, snacking, watching Caillou.

Love the car, but it's even better with a boom-a.

Here dog, you sit by me.

On second thought- let me squeeze you.

Click on this link for video.

Thud Thud Thud

Davis and I went to Fred for the day while Bennett is in Vegas for work. I had been feeling a little sad and tired this weekend and just needed a break. A day with Honey was the perfect solution. Anyway- I started the day with a run. I am FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT. So THUD, THUD, THUD is really the only way to describe the scene. I mean, nothing can make you feel less graceful, girly, fit, cute or awesome, than running when five months pregnant. At the same time though, it felt good. Good in a way that kept me running for a while.

As I ran through my old neighborhood, on a loop I have run countless times over the years, I thought of so many memories from high school. Some bad, some good, some truly cringe-worthy. It's funny to have that moment when you're in such a familiar place and you can feel just like yourself 15 years ago and yet you are such a different version of yourself. For a minute, I was running, and I was thinking about the things I thought about in high school. And it made me smile and also sigh because I wouldn't want to go back, at least not for more than a week. :)

We went to lunch after the run, then Davis and I napped for a bit. And then of course we played with the vacuums and the brooms and Davis' mini mini cooper (the one his size- pics to come). And then we went to see my grandparents. Davis was such a good boy. He walked right in, smiled, and hugged nanny and grandpa. He has been such a mama's boy lately- it's nice when he is so open to other people, especially family. They gave him the cutest little bear named Cooper that tells a story in line with a book. It's really so cool. Davis couldn't figure out who was talking at first- but once he realized it was Cooper the bear, he thought it was pretty cool. He bear hugged that bear the whole way home.

I'm home now and I'm still feeling tired, and a little blue, if I'm honest, but we had some fun this weekend. Great friends. Great family. And one week until our trip to California. I really can't wait.

What Happen Dat Toot?

Today Davis and I went over to the Ryans to play, eat some meat, and watch football. It was a perfect afternoon. Davis and Porter played, we hung out on the porch, and eventually the boys stripped down to play with the water hose. Davis got butt naked, of course, and loved being soaked by Porter, the hose master. Davis would open his mouth so wide for a "dink! dink!" and Porter would spray him right in the kisser. So funny- they are going to be quite a pair.

This went on for a while until at one point, as Davis was minding his own business, scooping dirt from a pot into a dump truck, he bent over and let out the longest, loudest, sputtering toot. Porter stopped what he was doing abruptly, and looked at Carrie and I and said "What dat?" I giggled and said "Davis tooted..."

Meanwhile, Davis carried on like nothing had happened...but Porter, Porter was disturbed by the whole situation. He stood there for a minute, staring, clearly thinking...and then said "What happen dat toot?" It was clear that he was trying to contextualize and really understand the thing that had just occurred. What was it? Would it happen again? Were things okay? Was Davis okay? It was pretty funny to watch the whole thing happen.

Today was just what I needed. Good friends, nice weather, amazing food and happy little guys running around playing.

Blues Brothers

Nikki sent me this cute picture of Davis and Bennett from last Christmas. Of course I look at it and first think about how small he was and how big he is now, but then I look and think HOLY COW do they look alike! So fun, surprise pictures you haven't seen before.

Also, so I don't forget...Davis' favorite thing to do these days is "keen up". I know they talk and sing about cleaning up at school and he has always loved vacuums and brooms, so I'm not surprised, but it's still so fun to see him get so excited to "hep momma. keen up."

Room for Joy and Sadness

On my way to Maryland for work, I picked up this week's People magazine, and on the cover was a story about 10 kids who were born after their dads died in 9/11. I shouldn't have read it on a plane, but I did, and I teared up reading about the mothers and how they have or have not been able to move on. I also found the kids' perspective, incredible.

And I found it interesting how much sadness they carry, even though they never met their fathers and they never knew a life other than the one they have. And then I found it ironic that I found that so interesting because, well, I am a lot like them. And I guess that is the first time I've encountered people that know what that feels like and can understand the heavy weight of something that technically never was there for them. It's a unique situation. And one of the things I will remember from the article is that one of the moms said "I had to realize that there is room for both joy and sadness..."

And then last night, while I was waiting for my flight, I kept watching this couple next to me, who were frankly, annoyingly intense and flustered and running around like a bunch of crazy people. So, of course I kept watching...I am nothing if not a people watcher. As I observed, I realized that they had a brand new infant car seat...but no baby. As I eavesdropped, I overheard them making call after call to people saying "Okay, we are at the airport!!!" And then I heard one conversation, in particular, that sounded like this: "Yep, we are going to go to the hospital tonight and then they said we get to take the baby home with us tomorrow..."

And it clicked. They were flying to Austin Texas to pick up a baby they had been waiting to adopt. And I immediately understood the frenzy. And the excitement. And I was so excited for them, I got chills. I cannot imagine what that would be like.

And then I thought of the momma. And my heart felt heavy. I cannot imagine, under any circumstances, how one can give their child away. Not to say I don't think it's the best thing in some cases, I know that adoption can be a great thing, but I still can't imagine the sadness you carry as the birth mother. And then I remembered that line from the People article and I thought to myself "This is a perfect example of a situation that has room for both joy and sadness."

Anyway. There is no point to this post other than that I want to remember these things. One other thing I want to remember from this week is how beautiful the green grass was in Maryland. I forgot grass could be so green.

Long Weekends

Are so nice. We spent ours playing, napping, cooking, watching movies and getting some work done around the house. It went so fast because it was so fun and relaxing. Bennett and I took turns sleeping in and today when we woke up, it was actually nice out. Yes! We played out front, Davis on his little powered 4 wheeler, and then packed him up in the stroller and walked about a mile or so to Starbucks. Davis was so good on the way and when we got there. He sat in his chair and just waited patiently, eating his snack, while we talked and enjoyed the morning.

Later today I ran some errands and got Davis' things ready for the week. I'm hopeful that this week will go okay with school, especially because I will be out of town for work tomorrow and Wednesday. I actually think Davis has an easier time when Bennett drops him off, but man, he is in a momma phase these days. It's very sweet for me, but I do hope it balances out a bit for Bennett's sake.

Wanted to share this note from Bennett to me last week regarding school. I think it's so sweet and it made me BEAM when I read it. BEAM.

Re: How did he do?

When we first got there, we were riding down the elevator and right before we got to the bottom he yelled “Bomp!” and did a quasi-squat/jump without leaving the ground… pretty awesome. When we got to the garage level he took off running towards the playground. Walked onto the playground and he let go of my hand and went straight to Logan with a big smile on his face, and then quickly took off running again. I went to sign him in, and he started getting a little upset, so I stuck around for a bit. He was having a good time and then when I had to leave he got a little pouty. Logan took him and he started to shape up pretty quick. Even spied on him from the second story of the building, and he was having a good old time climbing up and down the playscape. I think he is doing fine, and getting more and more used to it everyday. He did ask for you quite a bit as we were pulling up to the building, but to be expected right?

Love you and see you in a bit.

DB

Hep, Momma, Hep

Davis has figured out what hep (help) means and he totally overuses it. The other night my mom heard him in his room saying "hep! hep!" so she went in there thinking something was wrong, but he just smiled and said "wock?"

This weekend he hasn't been able to get enough of cereal and pretzels, so at least 100 times this evening I heard "hep, momma, hep" as he stood by the pantry door trying to get it open for the goods. "pwetzas, momma, pwetzas" as he would push me over to the door. It's hard to say no to such a cute and determined little man, especially when he needs help. :)

My Mom is the Best

Did you know that she drives over every Wednesday so Bennett and I can both go to bible study, she keeps Davis all day Thursday (which makes everyone so happy- especially Davis), AND she does my huge mound of laundry every Thursday. I KNOW! How lucky am I? She is the best! I guess she loves me as much as I love Davis- that's the only way I can explain it. :)

Also, here are a few pictures from the first week of school. So fun to see him in action with all his little friends. And OH MY GOSH has he picked up so many words in just a week and a half. They are the Koalas class- and the way he says it is so cute, Ko-wa-wa!