Looking Up...

While I can't say I'm really feeling excited, or even good, about moving just yet...I have to admit that some things are looking up. And I am actively working/willing myself to be thankful and positive.

First things first, I think we have a rental house! I say "I think" because we just got the lease documents today and until everything is signed and the deposit check has posted, I won't feel it's certain. We ended up choosing the more expensive option- I use the word "option" loosely because there weren't really very many options...but I'm saying this about choosing the most expensive one- simply because I'm kind of nervous about it. I don't want to be house poor...but I also know we'll be spending a lot more time in our house and I want to feel comfortable in it. The winters are LONG. And I'm sure they're even longer when you don't have any friends. I hope we are making the right choice.

Be positive Sam, be positive. Okay back to the point...so we went with this house on St. John's Avenue and it's close to Bennett's office- so that should make drop-off and pick-up from a school pretty easy- at least on Bennett's part. I haven't seen it in person, but Bennett says it is cozy and charming. At least that is my translation of what Bennett said about it. :)

Here are some pictures...there will be plenty of extra room (with a finished basement) so I do expect lots of visitors.

I really like the front- it feels very inviting.

 

And this is the back- Bennett is going to have a lot of yard to mow.

And there is a lake behind it- which is cool (and scary- with kids) and sounds kind of fancy, but remember, this is the "land of 10,000 lakes" so it's not that fancy.

The living room. Simple and nice.

Another look at the living room.

The basement! I actually think it will be so fun to have a basement. Eventually, I'd like to put a TV, couch and a treadmill down there...so I can work out in the winter and when Bennett is gone. 

BEHOLD! The bathroom. With ridiculous and phallic fixtures. The funny thing is- there were very few pictures of the house on the listing- but about three different angles of this sink/fixture situation. The crown jewel.

And the kitchen. Those bricks are veneer- which is a little dorky- but it's a rental house and I'm thankful to have found it- veneer bricks and all.

Also, I got an email from a girl I met while there in March- she is the niece of Bennett's boss and she goes to the U of M. I reached out to her about nannying until I found a good school...she was/is booked for the summer, but emailed me yesterday out of the blue, to refer her friend. So helpful- AND- it might work out. So yes, things are looking up. Now if I could just take all my family and friends with me- I would be all set. And Pico. The house doesn't allow pets- most of them don't- so I'm trying to figure out what to do about that. I want to just bring him because it will feel sad without him- but I also don't want to get evicted. Wouldn't that be great? Found a house and then got kicked out a few months later...eek. I'm going to ask Bennett to check out the neighbors and the scene when he is there in a few weeks.

So thank you for your prayers (especially you, Laura Wyrtzen). Things are looking up.

Happy Wednesday.

Walking and Talking

Holden is just walking all over the place these days. She's still wobbly, but she walks about 50% of the time at home right now. She usually picks something up and holds it before she starts walking- which seems trickier- but what do I know? Her favorite word (and toy) is "ball" and she also says "book" a lot. She LOVES to look at books. And play with balls. She giggles all the time and her most recent favorite thing to do is blow bubbles and make sounds with her lips. She cracks herself up doing it in the car, which is funny. You're just driving along and there is this little giggle happening in the back.

She is such a gem at drop-off, both at school and sunday school. She just smiles and waves at me and starts playing with the toys. We went to Porter's house on Saturday to celebrate his birthday and at one point I sat her down in this little plastic chair...she grinned so wide and just loved sitting there. She was so proud of herself, until her chair tipped back a little and she bonked her head on the wall. She BARELY touched the wall- but it scared her and she started to cry. Honestly, she spent most of the party eating trail mix. I gave her a little cup of popcorn, raisins, pretzels and M&Ms, and she sat there until the cup was EMP.TY. And then she proceeded to eat three pigs in a blanket. She is a little eater! In fact, I handed her a piece of lettuce the other day to see what she would do, and she just ate it right up.

She is such a joyful baby. I don't know of any other way to describe her. I wouldn't have ever described Davis as a joyful baby. In fact, he was a very serious baby. He's grown into a total fireball- slinging his light saber and yelling "COME ON BOYS!" with a texas drawl on the way to school today. It's fun to see how they are different and similar.

Here are a couple pics I took of her after our trip to Fred a week or two ago. Girlfriend was exhausted. P.S. Where did she get her Angelina Jolie pout? Lucky little thing.

Last night, we put Davis to bed at 7:30, which is early for him...but he hadn't taken a nap yesterday, so we figured he would be tired. I laid down with him and when I walked back in to the living room, Bennett was snoring on the couch. So, what did I do? Laid down and fell asleep too. I slept from 8 to 2 and then I was so wide awake, I had to take an Advil PM to try to go back to sleep until 7:00.

Today I have been quite sleepy because I decided yesterday that I am going to give up my daily Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf latte for the next month. The service at church yesterday was just about sharing stories of our church's efforts in Ethiopia, Uganda and the Congo. It was A.MAZ.ING. I have felt, for the longest time, like I have some sort of connection to the work they are doing in Zeway...we really wanted to go on the mission trip there this year, but it was just too tricky with two little people...but I always try to direct my giving to that group, and I am hopeful that we will both go in the future. Any way...I left church feeling so sparked to do something, to take part in some way...and there always seem to be so many restrictions.

Like, do I join a prayer group for it even though I am moving soon?
Do I join a mission team to learn more?

And then it's so easy to just do nothing. So I decided to do something small and immediate- take all the money I would usually use on coffee and give it to the Zeway program. Okay, I know it's not much, but here is the truth: 1) something is always better than nothing and 2) I will think about the African people and what God is doing there every morning when I DON'T go through and get my latte. And as I yawn throughout the day.

Trying to remind myself that it's better to start somewhere. On everything. There are two kinds of people in this world, givers and takers. I want to be a giver.

Stranded Strummers: A Guest Post

My grandfather is a storyteller...I think that's where I get it. He has written some amazing tales over his time and has also experienced some amazing situations. Today he shared this story about playing in a band with my dad, and his adventures on the road, and I'd like to share it. And here is a picture of him too- just so you can picture it. But I imagine he would say "Picture me younger, trimmer, and even more handsome than I look right now...this was 40 years ago."

Back when I lived in Iowa, when my son-in-law Tommy was alive we played every time we got together. There were also about five others who we played with from time to time. When we had lots to drink, I thought we played and sang just great. :-)

Tommy was a great singer, though, and when he was in high school he had his own band. His band was so good that they played at the officers club in Mineral Wells- Fort Walters. Tommy, then 16 and his band were too young to drive so General Mc Kennin would send his staff car to pick them up. Anyway, back to my main story. Every time Tommy and I found a new song we wanted to play, I would make copies, put page numbers on them and send a copy to each of the guys playing with us.

One winter day, years later I was headed to St Paul; I had a service man from the Mineral Wells factory with me. He was a good guy and when he came to see me he brought his guitar with him. His name was Ronnie Dodson, and he was a song writer. I happened to have my stand-up bass in the back of my station wagon.

Sooner or later, we found ourselves driving into a blizzard. About half way to St. Paul the roads got so bad, I pulled into some town where we checked into a motel. We checked into our rooms and then we headed for the bar. About three or four hours later someone suggested to the other stranded people in the bar that Ronnie and I get our instruments and play a few numbers.  (Truth is, it was my idea. Martinis just did that to me.)

One thing led to another, the drinks kept coming our way and the motel manager thought he was having the time of his life. Closing time was 1:00 a.m. but the manager locked the bar room door and we partied until about 4:00 or 4:30.

The next morning, around 9:00 a.m., there was a knock on our door. I opened it to find the manager wheeling in a cart that had scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon and ham, and four bloody marys (2 for each).

When he left he said, "If you guys want to stick around tonight, the rooms will be on me." Well, who could turn down a deal like that! The roads were bad anyway. Ha.

Tommy taught me to play and when he died I hung it up.
I have now given my guitar, stand-up bass and my banjo to Sam and Davis and Nikki. When they start the Bennett Band I will get 10 percent royalties.

Ah, the good old days.

Move it, Mister

Honey came over last night, and both Holden and Davis HURRIED to the door to see her. We went and played in Davis' room and Honey had Holden on her lap, reading her a book. Holden loves books and was so enjoying herself until Davis came and sat next to her on Honey's other knee. In a never-seen-before level of focus and effort, Holden turned to Davis, started to fuss and SHOVED him until he couldn't sit on Honey's lap. Move it, Mister! This is my time with Honey.

He, of course, was quite upset and began to cry and say "That made me a little sad..." so he came over where I was leaning back against his little recliner and sat on my lap, laying on my stomach, hugging me as he sobbed. He got over it, but sat there for a while and snuggled. Holden also got over reading and came over to play on the floor by me. When she noticed Davis laying on me, snuggling, she stood up, got red in the face, and again began to push him right off. Then, she made sure she got up on me and laid across my whole body, laying just like he was, her head tucked in my neck. She NEVER does this. She just didn't want him in her space.

I told you she's becoming more assertive. Little miss tiny is becoming a bit of a diva.

Also a funny story, my mom sent me to go get a pedicure last night while she kept Davis. I went to this nice place in the mall because I knew it would be the only place open that late at night (8:00). They have a whole list of different options- so I just went for the 2nd level up so I could get the sea salt scrub after the massage. It was HEAVENLY. The only thing that jolted me from my relaxed state was realizing that she began to rinse both legs after she had applied the sea salt on the left leg. My first thought was "Did she forget she didn't do my other leg?" But I thought "just give her a minute- don't be demanding..." But sure enough- she was wrapping up- so I looked at her, pointing at my right leg and said "Oh, are you not going to do the right leg?"

She smiled right at me, pointed to this teensy cup of what used to be sea salt and said "Oh, I ran out!" with a smile...

What?

So I thought maybe she was going to get more, but she just sat there so I said "Oh, you aren't going to do both legs?" And again she said "I don't have any more..." as though she doesn't always do this and doesn't know how much she has to work with from the beginning...or doesn't have probably a full closet of those things in the back.

So, being caught off guard, I just said "Hmmm...well that is unusual..."

And then I sat there and thought "Well, I paid for that service- shouldn't I ask for it? This is sort of a 50% rip off..." And then I also thought "Geez. This is awkward and embarrassing. Am I really going to be the person that complains about her pedicure massage? I mean, talk about first world problems..."

So I just let her finish and left.
I find it kind of funny when things like this happen. HA.

Happy Thursday.

Lost Optimism

I lost my optimism. It happened as quickly as if it fell out of my pocket and down a crack in the sidewalk. It's weird when that happens.

Side note- this thought also reminds me of the time on the playground when I was little and I fell and ripped a hole in the knee of my favorite striped leggings. I searched all over the playground, at least 20 minutes, for that piece of fabric. I knew if I could find it, my mom could patch it right back on and I'd be back in business.

Anyway- they say when you don't have anything nice (or in this case, positive) to say, don't say anything at all. So, today I will just share with you some of my favorite and recent pins. If you don't follow me on pinterest- it's simply my first and last name.

How great is this watch? I don't know when I started loving watches- but I am always surprised by how much I admire them. I wear my watch on my right wrist even though I am left handed. I don't know why...I just do.

I love this nail polish color. I wish I was the kind of person who always had her nails done. But I'm just not. It's fun every now and then, but I certainly don't have time to be perfectly colored and coiffed.

Hello amazing jeans. I need these in my closet yesterday.

These are called punjammies, which is fun to say, and they are also from my "responsible shopping" board because they are made by women in India. Purchasing them helps them get out of poverty. Double win.

This cracks me up. And my first thought was "Uh...try 10."

I hope I try this recipe- it's a pink grapefruit margarita. I love margaritas. I love the freshness of grapefruit. Another double win. Maybe I will drink them in my punjammies.

I don't know what plants grow in Minnesota- probably none- (I warned you- I lost my optimism) but I would love to be able to have beautifully colored plants like this.

And I think these are so lovely.

GRRRR UGH BLECH

If you asked me today what I was thinking about, I would say:

I think we might be homeless in Minneapolis. I can't find anything and Davis is only there this week and won't be back for another month- and holy cow if we don't find something end of May- we will probably be homeless. Roaming the cold streets of Minnesota, wishing we were back in Texas, where at least we would be able to feel our toes and move our fingers, as we shuffle along.

I'm not sure I really even want to move to Minneapolis. It's snowing there. On April 22nd. I didn't even know that happened, anywhere.

I don't know what I want to do next for a job. I'm sort of so overwhelmed by it that I haven't done anything. That's really not like me- so I think that is sort of interesting.

Nikki got me hooked on dried mangoes. I have gotten them every day this week- okay I realize it's only Tuesday- but really I have eaten a lot of mangoes.

I love when Davis comes and gets in bed with me around 6:00. Especially when Bennett isn't home. Davis is a good little snuggler.

I feel very anxious. And I wish we could find a dang house.
That doesn't cost a bajillion dollars, and isn't gross.

Boys and Girls

What a fun weekend- we started it with a Joe McDermott concert at Davis' school on Friday afternoon- and then went to Phil's for dinner. Davis kept asking why we were getting to go to Phil's and then would say "I must be lucky."

Saturday we went to breakfast at IHOP- Davis' favorite pancake store- and while there, the Ryans invited us to an open house at Camp Mabry so we went and checked out all the helicopters and tanks and even watched an air show. It was actually pretty cool.

Then, Saturday evening, Bennett began packing to go to the ranch for his aunt Missy's memorial. Davis heard him talking about it and DESPERATELY wanted to go too. I reminded him what a long ride it was, and that he would miss going to Honey's house, but he insisted. So, the boys packed up and went to the ranch, and the girls had a nice evening at home. Carrie came over after Holden went to bed and we talked and drank wine until 1:00 a.m. Around 10:00 p.m. Holden woke up and because she wouldn't go back to sleep, I just brought her in the living room with us. She ate popcorn and sat on my lap, just smiling the whole time. Carrie would reach out to her and say "Can I hold you?" And Holden would do this "I'm so shy thing" and tuck her chin down each time. It was so funny- and quite adorable.

Yesterday, we went to Fred to see my grandparents and my mom. It was nice to be somewhere new (sort of) for a day- and I snuck in a little nap while at my mom's.

Today I'm back at work and Davis is in Minneapolis. Working for the week- and most importantly- house hunting. The market is TOUGH in Minneapolis. It's hard to find a good listing, period. And then when you find one, it's really a lot higher in price than we expected, AND they get leased within the day. Sort of makes it hard when we're not there to pop by and see them. I have been working so hard to pull a list together for him to go see while there this week. I came up with about 8 and he started calling on Friday to make appointments- but 7 of them were already leased. So he has only two to see this week- one is really expensive and one is sort of expensive and not in the most ideal spot...or so we hear. Again- hard to know when you haven't spent much time there.

There is another one that a realtor said MIGHT be coming up for lease- and it's adorable and in the perfect spot- but only has ONE bathroom. A lot of the charming little bungalows only have one bathroom. But, in order to get the look and location we want- we might have to make it work.

Who knows. I'm trying not to sweat it- and I'm trying to be patient- but I'm also really hopeful that Bennett finds one this week. We'll see.

Friday, Bennett is taking off work and we might to go Sea World. He will be gone off and on over the next three weeks- so we thought it would be fun to do something special.

Here are some pics from Davis' teacher, taken at various times during Week of the Young Child last week. They had SO MUCH FUN. I will miss their school.

He is getting so big. I both love it- because he's so smart and fun right now- but it also kills me...because I don't want him to grow up! Holden too- she walked a TON this weekend. And here are a few pictures Bennett snapped of Davis at the ranch. Melt. My. Heart.

Bennett said this was how Davis spent most of the weekend- RUNNING- to keep up with the bigger kids. He was so tired when he got home last night. 

My little man. Looking so cute in his button shirt, shorts and cowboy boots.

And I love this shot.

Happy Monday.

Tune Ups Update

I have received word from the director of the Tune Ups...and they will let me submit a video for my audition. I. AM. GIDDY. WITH. EXCITEMENT. Seriously- I have to get in. It's all I can think about.

The note was so nice- the last line was something like "I hope this all works out for you, it would be so nice to have a fun group like us to get plugged in with when you move."

EEEEEKKKKK!

"I Love My Holden"

Davis says things like this a lot. He has such a sweet little heart and his new thing is kissing people in random places. Like, he loves kissing Holden's hands. And he kisses me on the arm, or on the cheek, and sometimes he'll kiss me on the calf if I'm sitting on the floor. And in addition to loving his Holden, there is a lot of Daddy love going on, which is so sweet to see. I think they really bonded while I was gone this past weekend. Monday on the way home from school, out of the blue, he said "I love my daddy so much..."

And then yesterday, on the way to school to be a part of the petting zoo, Bennett was driving next to us on the highway and I rolled Davis' window down. Just being silly, he started to throw his clementines (tangerines) in through our window. Davis thought it was the FUNNIEST THING he's ever seen. He laughed his brains out and said "My daddy is SOOOO funny..."

Also, Bennett figured out how to undo the governor on Davis' John Deere, so yesterday all I could hear was rip-roaring screaming and laughing from the backyard while Davis zipped around the place at what seemed like 20 miles per hour. Boys.

Last night I was able to go to the Y (I've been every night this week, which is a treat) and then I went over to Carrie's house for a girl's only version of our community group. It was so fun. I have such good friends. I'm hugely thankful for that. And certainly that will be one of the hardest things in moving to Minneapolis.

BUT ON A DIFFERENT NOTE...guess what is one of the BEST things about moving to Minneapolis? They have a grown-up a capella group there called "The Tune-Ups". YES. SERIOUSLY. I am dying over it. They are legit and all I can think about is how the success of my life in the midwest HINGES on my ability to get into The Tune Ups. I'm serious. I will be so depressed if I don't get in. They are having auditions on May 13th and they might let me do a video audition. We'll see. So cross your fingers and say a prayer for that, please.

Separately, while I'm just sharing my random thoughts...we might have a little diva on our hands. Holden is certainly starting to assert herself. If you take something from her, whether you are trying to help her or not, she loses it. She lets you know exactly how much she wants that back. My mom and I were laughing about it this morning. She's still her happy little content self- but occasionally we are starting to see her flex her muscles.

That's all for now. Happy Thursday.

Wednesday

Today is Wednesday, and today Bennett and I got up super early and drove the beans to school so we could be at the petting zoo with Holden at 8:20. And then it was delayed until 8:45, and then 9:05, and then at 9:05 there was no petting zoo in sight...so we had to miss it. Bummer. BUT, we did get to spend some time with her in her classroom, watching her play and interact. She is so happy there. It's awesome. She looks about 6 months smaller and younger than the rest of them, though she isn't...so it's funny to watch them all run/walk around and see her crawl to keep up. She took 2-3 steps about 5 times this morning- so she is close and she is so proud of herself each time.

Davis has his beach day today, so we dressed him in his swimsuit, only to learn that they aren't changing in to their suits until after their naps (3:00) AND we forgot his shoes. AWESOME. We really have this whole parenting thing down.

So that's my morning. Separately, I wanted to share this thought with you...

 

As the move is closer and closer, I'm trying to figure out what I will do next in Minneapolis. And I've been so focused on getting a great job- a stellar, challenging, impressive job- in advertising/marketing. And I've gone back and forth between trying to nail it down now or just trying to get there and give myself a little break and the time to figure out exactly where I want to be. Ideally I would have some time to settle in, get the kids (Davis) to feel comfortable, and then get to meet with several different individuals and businesses, to see what would be the best fit. Sure, I could be applying to jobs now, but 1) I don't want to start until August (at the earliest) and 2) I don't really want to spend my time in Texas flying back and forth to Minne for interviews. You know?

Anyway, yesterday I had lunch with my boss, whom I hugely admire and will be sad not to work with anymore. This isn't Jeanne (my friend, boss, mentor, etc)...but a guy that started here a year ago. He and I have built a great friendship and we both speak very candidly to each other. I love that. Anyway...we were having lunch and he said to me "Sam. Remember how you said you wanted me to give you feedback/advice openly?" "Yes" I said, thinking "Oh boy, what's coming..."

And then he said "You know. It's rare to have the opportunity to take a step back. Give yourself some time and space and really figure out what it is that you want to do. If I were you- I would do that. Take some time. Let it be quiet enough to hear exactly what it is that you want to do... I think there are things that you love and that you are good at- that are not necessarily specific to marketing and advertising- and I think you should explore that. Maybe even do some good."

Great advice, right? 

So I've been thinking about that- and I need to start praying about that. There are so many things in my life that I've wanted to do, thought about doing, felt like I should be doing...maybe now is the time? Well certainly it's the time- I can and should do all those things whether I'm working a 9 to 5 or not- but maybe I just need to take a couple months to hear myself think. And hear God speak.

But anyway- I started to think about why it is that I am so focused on already lining up the next job and there are several reasons- some good, some bad.

1) I am excited about doing something new (good)

2) I want to meet new people (good)

3) I want to push myself (good)

4) I'm worried that what they say is true: "It's easier to find a job when you already have one..." (bad)

5) I hate being on a budget. A lot. (in between)

6) I'm afraid I'll be lonely and miserable and never get a job and feel like a failure (bad)

So okay the first three are good reasons, I think. But the last two are just FEAR! Stupid fear. And I don't want to live like that. Life is too short and unpredictable and besides it might be fun to test my faith and let God show me how faithful he is, how true and lasting his promises are.

So those are my thoughts this Wednesday. Have a good one.

March Randoms...

Two posts, one day. Woohoo.
Here are some random photos from February and March.

Playing at the park!

Waffles, snuggles and dancing!

More waffles...

More dancing...

Corky and Holden in polka dot pants!

They Say You Can't Go Back...

Just a few snippets from our trip, via my phone cam. I did bring my camera, so I'll share those later.

A few years ago, I went to visit Nikki in DUMBO (Brooklyn, Down Under Manhattan Bridge) while she was living there. The trip was so fun, we both talk about how it was just some sort of magical. I will always remember that trip. We went to see Regina Spektor together at the Bowery Ballroom, we shopped, we ate great food, we drank great wine, etc. But one of our most clear memories, was going to this adorable little sushi place on the lower east side.

We happened into it, and it was maybe 12 feet by 12 feet, filled with posh New Yorkers, and the sushi was amazing. We felt so chic and just loved it. We decided to go back with mom this time while we were there. So we looked it up and called to make a reservation at 7:00. Yes, that's early for New York, but we were HUNGRY.

Anyway, to the point. They say you can't go back...meaning nothing is ever how you remembered it and you should leave your memories as they were rather than try to replicate. We should have followed the advice of this old adage. But we didn't. Instead, we talked all about Cube Sushi, and made it a point to go back.

It was A LITTLE DIFFERENT than we remembered. It was dumpy. And there wasn't a soul in sight when we got there at 7:00. And only one other table when we left at 8:00. And it was BYOB. Here is a picture for reference...

What the heck? Were we drunk when we were there before? We laughed so hard through the whole dinner about it. The pillows were old and crappy...there were bulletin boards on the walls with random people's pics pinned up...the lighting was basically three hanging lights with tissue paper wrapped around them. WHAT THE HECK? At least the sushi was still good. So anyway- moving on.

An art museum in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is so much better than Manhattan.

Nikki, blending in with the animals, at FAO Schwarz.

 

These beautiful trees were blooming everywhere- I guess they are cherry blossoms? White ones?

This was for sure the coolest store- it's in SOHO called something like Treasure and Bond. Basically- they have all these amazing designers, and great display...I wanted everything in there...and they give 100% of their profit, beyond their overhead, to a kid-focused charity each quarter. It's unreal.

So that is my first round of pictures. Oh, both mom and I found our dresses for Nikki's wedding while there. I didn't anticipate that- so that was really fun. Thank God for Macy's- we spent a lot of time there this trip. And we had fun at FAO Schwarz picking out some treats for D and H. Davis was MOST excited about his little Taxi-shaped sugar cookie. That's a three year old for you. More later!